The Gentlemen's Corner

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What Men Need

Gentlemen, let us get rid of all the fluff about the needs of men. You have all this media trying to tell us what we need, what we like. Well what better way to find out what a man wants, and needs, then from a man?

1.       We Need a Battle to Fight

From the time we can walk we are picking up sticks and using them as swords. From the time we can talk we are yelling, “freeze! Police,” to the imaginary bad guy; from the time that we can run we are throwing toy grenades into a homemade bunker and diving into our headquarters.  We are made to battle. The problem is that we get ourselves into the wrong fights and we fight the wrong war.

We fight for the next lie to conjure up to our friends, family, wife, girlfriend or fiance; instead we should fight for truth, so that we win trust. We fight for rebellion against the norm, when in fact to obey the norm is now to rebel. We fight for a character created by rap stars and money hungry gluttons, but we should fight to win the label of Sir and Genuine.

What men need is natural, to fight for something great and hard to achieve.

2.       An Adventure to Live

It sickens me to think about how hard we work and we hardly play. We are not meant to come home from work and answer emails that can wait until tomorrow. We are not meant to take our laptops with us on vacation to “catch up” on a few things. Sorry to burn the surface but if you are truly productive then you can finish work at work. Stop being busy and start being productive.

Life was meant to be lived adventurously. Take a few days to yourself; go ride a bike in the mountains, break in those hiking boots, get your hands dirty by baiting a hook. There is more to life than a 9-5, 6 days a week. What if Christopher Columbus never took that ship into the seas?

We have a natural ability to navigate, regardless of what the stereotypical media and committee of “they” say about our driving. Get out there, live an adventure.

3.       A Beauty to Rescue

Think about it. There she is, there you are, both single. She is a princess; you want her to be your princess. There are so many fake “men” out there that want to hurt her, to use her, to only entertain her. You know that you could treat her so well, that you would be everything she needs! WELL GO TALK TO HER! There are all these immature horney boys waiting to prey on her, she is your beauty to rescue!

I believe it is within every man to treat a lady exactly how she is supposed to be treated; with love and respect. It’s your duty to act on that principle. Go for it gentlemen!

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The Invitation

I actually wrote this for my other collection of writings at His Scars To Our Scars, but after I had written it I knew it was worthy for this area as well.

I know it’s not popular to talk about “religion” or beliefs when you are discussing things of general nature, but every gentleman  knows, or should know that a man who stands for what he believes and speaks about it so passionately that it seems to be a part of him; woven within the fibers of his being, is respected. No one can take that from him…

I hope that I can convey this heavy revelation….

There is a time in every boy’s life where he looks for an invitation; waiting to steal a base, waiting to sled down a steep hill, or curling his toes over the edge of the pool searching the bottom just before jumping into the deep.

Before doing any of these things a boy will look deep into the eyes of his father, looking to see if he is watching; looking to see if dad gives an almost unnoticeable grin, and a small nod of approval. This, my fellow readers is called the invitation to be dangerous.

Unfortunately some boys do not have the chance to experience this invitation because the father is not doing his job, or the father is nonexistent. You see these type of developing men everywhere; afraid to stand against, afraid to take a chance; a risk.

For a long time now I’ve let this innate characteristic remain a small flame; something looming quietly. I was afraid to take chances afraid to take a risk. This relationship between me and my invitation carried over to my relationship between good and evil.  For the longest time I’ve believed a lie that if I lashed out at the wiles of our Enemy; that if I took a chance on the offense; took a chance to be dangerous that The Accuser would retaliate, that he would humiliate me. At the base of every lie there sprouts fear, and it cripples. But to produce faith you have to remove that lie and replace it with the truth. The truth is, God has been fathering me all along, He has been giving me an invitation to be dangerous.

“Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.”  Luke 10:19

Truth is, the only thing that should harbor fear is sickness, heartache, confusion, lies, and the Enemy. Because there is a generation rising up that’s not going to take this crap anymore; we are not going to take this anymore.  Here my friends is your invitation to be dangerous.

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Gentlemanliness

                                      

As stated in the theme of this collection of writings, consider this your “how to” manual for becoming a gentleman. A most common delusion; I hear the statement all to often that you should “treat a girl bad to keep her around.” The idea of this statement seems ridiculous to me, but if in fact you have fallen victim to this sick lie, then let me spoon you a little medicine from my good friend David. Here is a little insert about character. The bad guy may get the girl, but a good one keeps her.

Written by David:

Gentlemanliness goes much deeper than simply opening doors, and knowing which fork to use, in the realm of being a gentleman, mere manners are the minimum requirement. Gentlemanliness is the art of knowing what to do and say, as well as, knowing when to do or say it. When there is an awkward moment in life, which is inevitable, a gentleman who has been well trained knows how to handle the situation with ease; a lesser man will fumble and stumble over his words and add to the awkwardness. A gentleman is the salt of every occasion, knowing exactly how to use his words or actions to add positive enhancement. If there is a ceremony to which there should be a toast, a gentleman knows exactly what to say to bring joy to everyone at the ceremony, or if there is a conversation going south he knows what to do and say to bring it back to par without offending anyone taking part in the particular conversation. There are key situations in life where there is immense pressure and it is a gentleman’s duty to take the reigns of those precious situations to ensure that every moment has the best possible outcome. In order to act under pressure like this, a gentleman has to train regularly in the ways of etiquette and chivalry, to ensure that he is ready when those key situations present themselves. Ideally a gentleman would train hard and often enough that his actions would come from his subconscious and gentlemanliness would flow from his body unknowingly. By doing all of this the gentleman is making for himself a great reputation and strengthening the power of his word. These are two of the most important things a man can possess and without them he is not respected by his peers or society. By being a gentlemen in today’s world you will not only set yourself apart from your peers you will also impress everyone who witnesses such actions. Now that you have the right mindset about who a gentleman is, you will be able to implement the tips learned here and thrive in social situations all across the world.

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Date Language

Think about the “ideal” date that all guys have in store for their awaiting damsels. Get dressed up; take them out for a lovely evening and “get to know them.” I’m sure there are lesser men who have not so noble intentions, but that is a different topic, and for a different time. A typical kind of date is not a bad thing; it non-verbally communicates from the man, to the lady, that I can provide for you, I can take care of you, I value you, I want the world to see us together. However, this does not have to be the first “page” to visit in your portfolio of dates. Another thing that speaks volumes in your pursuit of relational success is uniqueness. As mentioned above every date has a non-verbal language, so let’s connect fellas and create the arsenal of what I like to call The Epic Date.

The word epic means a series of significant events. Consider this a model; mold and shape it to fit your style and culture. The following is not in any specific order, and can be done however you’d like.

The Cheap Date

As mentioned above most guys go for the elaborate date. However you can spend a less amount of money and achieve the same result. Take your lady out for a cheap date to a coffee shop, a local place, or even a fast food place. This will also be a tried and true to see if the lady you are pursuing is actually worth the pursuit. Engage in light and serious conversation; begin to actually build a relationship by getting to know one another. If she shows genuine enjoyment, she is probably a keeper. If she turns her nose up at the fact that you didn’t break the bank to impress her, then maybe you should reconsider. This date says, “I want to get to know the REAL you.”

The I’m Cultured Date

There is something original about a guy who likes to do things out of ordinary. Use this date to show off some class, and to show that you care about more than just you and your little environment. Most areas do some sort of festival or event that eclectically gathers a whole array of people from different countries and geographical areas so that you can experience a little of their culture, food, and music. If not, usually every place has a museum nearby. Take your lady to one of these places. This date says, “I am aware of my surroundings, and I’m interested about what is going on.”

The Do Life Together Date

Recently I read in a Psychology Today Magazine, that women feel more attractive out and about in nature. They think it is because they are not being subject to forms of media that imposes the “ideal figure” and so on.  If there is a lake, beach, park, garden, mountain, or SOMETHING in your area take your lady here for a hike or picnic. Talk about life and some future goals and plans; ask questions about your lady’s plans and goals as well. This date says, “I want to do life together with you.”

The I Have Some Useless Knowledge Date

I believe it would be safe for me to say to some degree that every woman thinks a little mystery in a man is attractive. I used to want to be a veterinarian, so I know some useless facts about all kinds of animals that some people may not.  If my lady and I see a strange animal or bug, most of the time I can spout off some interesting fact. And even though I don’t get to go to the zoo as often as I’d like, I could probably tell you a little something without reading the little sign at each display. This is not to toot my own horn, but just to give you an example. Take your lady to a place where you have some knowledge about something. This date says, “I know a little more about some things than you think I do.”

Add your own scenario or situation to this model and use it to weave your way into that special lady’s life. For now gentlemen, I bid you adieu.

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What Not to Do… From a Female’s Perspective

                             

Every guy needs a little help right? There’s a Proverb I believe that says something to the effect of plans always succeed with wise counsel, and with many advisers. This post has to do with relationships, and with times like these, we need all the help we can get fellas. Keep into perspective that this is the place for Gentlemen, so it is with that character we shall treat our Ladies. The writing being brought to you tonight is from my friend Kimberlee. She represents a current and sassy (yes I used the word sassy) collection of writings called Mimosas on Mondays, which I suggest you visit sometime. Hope you enjoy!

Guest Blog Written by KM at: Mimosas on Mondays

“So many times, men’s magazines parade articles of what every guy should be doing, wearing, eating, or even dating. Males focus on what they need to do; what actions they need to take to succeed or reach their goal. Very rarely do guys see a list of things to avoid in order to succeed. But coming from a female, who lives most of her life hearing what she should not eat, wear, or say; I am going to share a little list of things guys should not do… if they are wanting to catch (or keep) the girl. *disclaimer: I do not acclaim these opinions to be fact.”  

First Impressions:   1. Do not discuss mention any past relationship, ex-girlfriend or lack there of. Keep topics neutral and make sure you avoid any initial conversation about politics, religion, money or past college mistakes. 2. Be a gentlemen. Yes, we still want to know that there is at least a drop of chivalry in today’s society. Open the door, pull out her chair, and chew with your mouth closed. 3. Don’t lose eye contact (especially if your waitress is in the slightest bit attractive.) 4. If at a bar, do not wait til her drink is empty to ask if you can buy her one. Ask the bartender what she has been drinking all night, order her another and have it sent to her by the bartender. (pay attention please!) 5. When on a first date, do not finish eating before her. Slow down your eating so that she will feel relaxed and not rushed.   

When Texting:   1. Please learn to text with tone (or expression). Females read into every little letter of each message you send. Do not answer a detailed question with “K.” This will definitely end in a fight. 2. Emoticons are not to be used after the age of 10. They distract from the actual purpose of your message and most often distract from any bit of attractiveness you might have. 3. If a phone conversation is possible, please do not text a female your life story. Once again… this will end in a fight or one party’s words being twisted. 4. Make sure to check who your messages are being sent to before pressing send. (this will eliminate at least one fight.) 5. Do not text while at dinner, on a date, when meeting her parents, during a deep conversation, or when trying to make a move.  

Things to Never Do:

1. Admit you know all of the lyrics to the Taylor Swift song playing on the radio. 2. Stiff a waitress on a date (or ever.) Big tippers have good standards and big hearts. 3. Let her know that you play more than 3 hours of video games a day week. 4. Criticize one of her friends (or a girl in the room that might be one of her friends.) 5. Curse in front of her mother (unless she does it first… and still you should probably refrain.)

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Pipe Dreams

Alright fellas, let’s get real for a minute or two. A nice six-pack of abs may make underwear advertisements more appealing, and they do a good job at keeping adolescent girls drooling at bay, but when the rubber meets the road what separates the men from the boys is a nice set of cannons, guns or arms if you’re not familiar with those terms.

I’d like to bring you a blast from the past of an arm workout that I used to do when I would train for amateur bodybuilding shows. I know there are a lot of articles out there with various explanations of yada yada and blah blah, but let’s get real. We are men, and we like it simple, straight and to the point.

The fact about muscles is this. We have fast twitch muscle fibers, and slow twitch muscle fibers. Light weight, high reps hit the fast twitch and heavy weight, low reps hit the slow. The key to developing your Pipe Dreams is to have a workout that encompasses all the fibers. Below is a workout from Flex Magazine from years ago that will do what we are talking about above. This is an 8 week program, do each workout twice a week.

 WEEK 1

EXERCISE                           SETS         REPS

High cable crossover curls *        1 [dagger]   2,  2            15

One-arm dumbbell preacher curls     3            15

[double dagger]

Dumbbell hammer curls                  3            15

Narrow pushups **                         1            25

Triceps pushdowns                          3            15

Triceps kickbacks                               3            15

Lying triceps extensions                 3            15

Palms-up forearm curls                  3            15
 superset with
 Palms-down forearm curls          3            15

* Keep your elbows at shoulder height or slightly above.
[dagger] Warm-up set
[double dagger] Do not rest between, just switch arms and go.
** Keep elbows close to your body, hands almost touching together.

 

WEEK 2

EXERCISE                               SETS   REPS

Barbell curls                          6      15
 superset with
Dips                                         6      15
Wrist rolls,
both directions                   5    failure

 

WEEK 3

EXERCISE                                                              SETS   REPS

Triceps rope pushdowns                               1 *    25, 2      15

Narrow-grip Smith machine presses          3      15

Overhead cambered-bar triceps extensions   3      15

One-arm low cable curls                                1 *    25, 2      15

Cambered-bar preacher curls                       3      15

Standing cambered-bar curls                        3      15

Palms-up barbell forearm curls                    4    failure

Palms-down barbell forearm curls              4    failure

* Warm-up set

 

WEEK 4

EXERCISE                                               SETS  REPS

Machine preacher curls                  3     15

Standing cambered-bar curls         3     15

Reverse-grip low cable curls           3     15

Straight-bar triceps pushdowns     3     15

Overhead barbell extensions          3     15
Machine dips                                        3     15

One-arm dumbbell palms-up wrist curls   4     15

 

WEEK 5

EXERCISE                                             SETS   REPS

Overhead cable triceps extensions           1 *    25, 2      10

Reverse-grip bench presses                        4      10

Triceps kickbacks                                               3      10

Barbell concentration curls                           1 *    25, 2      10

Reverse-grip barbell curls                             4      10

Standing low cable curls                                 4      10

Wrist rolls, both directions                           4    failure

* Warm-up set

 

WEEK 6

EXERCISE                                                              SETS   REPS

Dumbbell concentration curls                      1 *    25, 2       8

Standing barbell curls                                     3       8

Alternate dumbbell hammer curls            3       8

Straight-bar triceps pushdowns                 1 *     25, 2       8

Narrow-grip Smith machine presses        3       8

Overhead two-hand dumbbell extensions   3       8

Wrist rolls, both directions                            5    failure

* Warm-up set

 

WEEK 7

EXERCISE                                                    SETS  REPS

Dips                                                                  3     10
 superset with
 Seated alternate dumbbell curls          3     10

Overhead cable rope extensions           3     10
superset with
Cambered-bar preacher curls                3     10

Triceps kickbacks                                      3     10
superset with
Dumbbell concentration curls                3     10

Alternate palms-up barbell forearm curls     4     10

Alternate palms-down barbell forearm curls   4     10

 

WEEK 8

EXERCISE                                                             SETS   REPS

Dumbbell concentration curls                      1 *    25

Straight-bar low cable curls [dagger]       1    failure

V-bar triceps pushdowns [dagger]           1    failure

Wrist rolls, both directions                           1    failure

* Warm-up set
[dagger] Descending set of four drops

COPYRIGHT 2004 Weider Publications

COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning

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Spellcheck, Proof-Read, Define…Everything?

Text messages, e-mails, writing papers for school, presenting the progress report, and verbal conversations; these are all forms of communication that we participate in every day. I understand that we live in a world of convenience and faster productivity, but our language is not the place to begin cutting corners. 

More and more I notice that I’m reading some sort of visual message and the spelling is less than par, so to speak, and the wrong use of a word sprinkles over sentences like a bad spice.

Gentlemen, we have been blessed with technology like smart phones and Google. Did you know that there is a Dictionary.com app for your phone? Take a little extra time; read over that message one more time, take a few seconds to search Google for “putting the comma in the right spot,” and educate yourself on were, where, want and won’t. Do not be ashamed to look up a word in the dictionary so that you can utilize its most profound meaning.

People like an educated man; an educated man appears to know what he is doing and saying. A man who knows what he is doing and saying is respected. You are respected.

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A More Relaxed Style

So, here it is I suppose. The beginning of something a little less deep. I have a blog that I maintain for His Scars To Our Scars that has the objective of reaching out and relating to a population that feels alone and hurt. Needless to say that the conversations that take place there are a deeper process and have a significant purpose.

However, this little collection of thoughts and simplistic gear-turners are focused more on the visible things in life, (we will leave room for deeper things as well). For sometime now I’ve wanted to speak into the lives of men (feel free to read along ladies), and share some of what experience I may have on relationships, appearance and the all powerful accomplishment, respect.

In conclusion, let’s deem this as the disclaimer. I can only control my actions and my attitude. If you agree with the views posted here so be it, and if you don’t, then so be it. Shall we keep it flavorful? Then lets begin….